Past. Present. Future: September 2006

Thursday, September 28, 2006

this is a blog entry.

yes, to take a leaf from cj, its been quite a while. the post-prelim celebration was realli memorable. meeting up some friends to see the solo exhibition. the insights were insightful haha. okok. i haf been very encouraged, to say the least. its realli interesting to see how pple sometimes actually read wad u put into ur paintings, especially when they r very subtle. n to a certain extent, i see this series as a form of closure. as wad mrs tan said, ur sji series seem complete now wif these 2 paintings (my a lvl coursewk). the earlier ones seem dreamy, searching, but these 2, the empty courtyards, remains of the presence of pple, the setting, all seem to suggest that pple haf moved on to the world outside. so its Gd, u r ready for a new phase of ur life. congratulations.

words i’ll rmb. all in all, it has realli been a learning experience. n i’m grateful to haf been given this opportunity go thru all of this. so guyz, thank you once again for participating in this in one way or another. for me, its time to move on in life.

went east coast n stayed over n sean’s place. ah east coast.... then we went to baiduri for seraphin’s birthday afternoon party. we were tired la, but was fun still lolz. a lazy sunday. gd weekend.

sch on tues was simply release of some realli bad results, n i expect more to come, n work is pilling up once again. i’ll leave them to tomorrow. still reeling from prelims, n the conclusion of coursewk. now that we’ve seen thru the end of this painful process, i look back, n i realize that its quite poignant n bittersweet actually. i will miss those days where we stay up til the wee hrs of the night (ok, not so much for me, but still...) entire days of just working away n just going crazy together in the art room. tues morning i went in n kexin asked me, “wad period isit now?” only to haf apri adding, “wad day isit today ha?” haha. the art room is timeless i tell u. wif aep, there r no regrets abt not having a “life” by joining a cca. art n coursework IS a cca, n much more. to put it simply art to us is simply wad choir is to these choir pple.

usually during free periods u see the aep students unconsciously gravitating to the art room to chiong coursework, do hw, or just to while away the time. today i tried going into the art room to collect some of my stuff after econs remedial, n for the first time, it was shut. oh man.

well so there we go again. i set out to blog abt something other than art, n here i am moving back to art land. oh dear. wad a sad, strange little man.

thinking of getting cj’s cw book. maybe buy some cds as a tangible reward for my efforts in working for the prelims. the results r fucked but doesn’t mean i didn’t work hard ok. alright til next time, ciao pplez.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

the hours. before n after.

i haf just made the biggest decision in my life.

it is cheap no doubt. many wd consider this a blunder. the hardest part being an artist is trying to attach a cost to ur own work. its like groping at straws in the dark. mr lee can say i’m stupid n others can gawk at my wad they deem to b poor business skills. thats fine. they can haf their opinions. but this is my work, n my decision to make.

decisions r they hardest to make, especially if ur faced wif 2 options, n one part of u endears itself to a certain emotion, n then there’s the opportunity cost. i guess sometimes its difficult to see the whole ‘picture’ n it impairs ur ability to realli decide. i’ve finally decided that i’m going to sell my paintings to the school, who’s gonna auction them to get generous donors to claim ownership of them, but at the end of the day, the paintings will hang in school.

it is a sacrifice on my part, as i attach sentimental values to some of my works, especially my o lvl piece. but this emotion, this sense of nostalgia for a distant past will die off. an opportunity to share this emotion wif others is something u only get once in a lifetime, n i’m not gonna to let it slip. when i come to a stage where i lose any sense of attachment to my school, there’s bound to b someone who’ll look at my paintings n say. yes, that was sji.

that’s something anyone can never regret, n there r some things money just can't buy.

u say u i’m not that altrustic. fine, i want to feed my ego. but for that matter, i’ll haf many other opportunities to do just that. this is not altruism. i’m giving something back to something which i think deserves something in return from me some time soon.

met up wif kris, kelvin, pris just now after my art paper to see my exhibition. its always great catching up. the first time i laughed so hard in weeks lolz – well of course not. exam papers don’t realli haf a sense of humour. other than the other realli optimistic stuff happening these days, the prelims r screwed. n yes even art has been consigned to the dogs. today’s drawing n painting paper. lee guy buy those lousy quality paper, end up i use masking tape that i always use to do the straight lines that time then the paper tear. the toot. oh wells haha, all i haf to do is wait n see how my teachers screw me at wherever hole they can find.... ok try not to think abt it.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

today was econs paper

i think u might haf expected me to say more abt the solo exhibition opening. well heres my take. it was very crowded. very very crowded. i’m not the attention seeking type. didn’t realli warm up to the atmosphere at jendala. better to go on a normal day. it was inopportunely timed to coincide wif the prelims, unfortunately. n mrs tan asked me yesterday if anybody commented on the stylistic differences bet my o lvl work n the other paintings. well nobody mentioned it, but my uncle did mention that he cd tell that the other paintings were done in great haste. technically, very meticulous, but somehow the ‘feeling’ was not there. but the window was a clear favourite. so well, moving on...

what i take home from this experience is the process that has given me the confidence to paint. n to paint well at that, in mr chia’s words, “not to let go.” my painting technique n philosophy has certainly evolved. stylistically speaking, my current style is more mature, more developed. n i have pulled all that i haf learnt, summoned my final strength n invested them in my a lvl work. there u haf it. wif “time present, time past.”, i’ve more or less marked a form of closure to what i call the “sji-surrealist period”. to yearn for, to search, to grapple with, n finally to accept.

in my recent works there r signs – n other people haf also pointed this out – that my works r becoming detached n cold. which r signs that i haf to move on in art. where i will go after this i haf no idea. but all i noe is that to me, life in my art is always surreal, n in a sense, timeless. but i can b sure that i will continue depicting my dreams n aspirations in paint.

prelims haf just made life greyer. but i take comfort that at least i’m not the only one sitting for the exams. i have no high hopes this time. wad can u expect me to complete in 1 week u tell me? but i hope i am ready when the As come round.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

its september!

so far, 3 official things on the academic calendar has happened since my last entry.

first was gp paper. no comment.

31 august. nj teacher’s day celebration saw me terminating that long n painful coursework. at long last. alvin had even stayed back after gp paper to complete it. recall that exactly 2 years ago, alvin also ponned sji teacher’s day celebrations also for the sake of coursework. but for now, alvin can’t really say that coursework is complete. completeness is a mark of perfection. so, just as no artwork is complete, so there can never b a perfect piece of art. well as they say; an artist never really finishes his work. he merely abandons it.

yesterday got my brain fried by gil lee’s mcq revision. econs is such trash. if theories find themselves contradicting one another, chances r that they r flawed.

this sat’ll will b the opening day of my solo exhibition that runs from 10 to 24 september at jendala esplanade. its free n open for public viewing. wanted to organize some form of class outing for the opening day, but given its close proximity to the impending prelims, i guess....
but anyway, here’s my a lvl art project for u. t.s. elliot summed it all up rather neatly. “Time past and time future. Point to one end, which is always present.”
they r 2 paintings hung facing one another, one representing the past n the other, the one wif the arches, the future.
for the bewildered, i’ve kindly provided the official artist statement from the ministry of narcissm.

TIME PRESENT, TIME PAST.
Artist Statement

“First, we shape our buildings, then our buildings shape us.”

Places evoke reality. They do not embody it. A place is nothing without a person. Places, however beautiful, have no human significance. But places are memorable because of what they suggest and because of the memories we attach to them. The tables and chairs over here for example, seem to suggest that someone was there, but had just left. To all of us, tables and chairs have are synonymous with the classroom, dredging up recollections of friends or classmates who in some way or other have helped to shape our lives.

A surreal illusion.

One canvas depicts the past and the other, the future, but elements in the two overlap each other, suggesting that the past and future are inextricably linked; Our actions chart our future, whilst our future is determined by our past. To this end then, I have drawn inspiration from the buildings of my secondary school, SJI. The effect is nostalgic and timeless. Though the structures are based on western classical models, austere simplification harkens to modern architecture, making them detached from neither the past nor the present. In the words of the Mexican architect Luis Barragán, “Nostalgia is the poetic awareness of our personal past, and since the artist's own past is the mainspring of his creative potential, the architect must listen and heed his nostalgic revelations.”

In cobblestone courtyards, under a surreal sky denoting neither night nor day, one finds silence and solitude, qualities synonymous with meditation and contemplation. Nevertheless, admit the serenity, emptiness and melancholy prevails, leaving one feeling lost and nostalgic in a weird and silent landscape.

yup. enjoy, n happy studying 2 all. muachs*

Past. Present. Future