the hours. before n after.
i haf just made the biggest decision in my life.
it is cheap no doubt. many wd consider this a blunder. the hardest part being an artist is trying to attach a cost to ur own work. its like groping at straws in the dark. mr lee can say i’m stupid n others can gawk at my wad they deem to b poor business skills. thats fine. they can haf their opinions. but this is my work, n my decision to make.
decisions r they hardest to make, especially if ur faced wif 2 options, n one part of u endears itself to a certain emotion, n then there’s the opportunity cost. i guess sometimes its difficult to see the whole ‘picture’ n it impairs ur ability to realli decide. i’ve finally decided that i’m going to sell my paintings to the school, who’s gonna auction them to get generous donors to claim ownership of them, but at the end of the day, the paintings will hang in school.
it is a sacrifice on my part, as i attach sentimental values to some of my works, especially my o lvl piece. but this emotion, this sense of nostalgia for a distant past will die off. an opportunity to share this emotion wif others is something u only get once in a lifetime, n i’m not gonna to let it slip. when i come to a stage where i lose any sense of attachment to my school, there’s bound to b someone who’ll look at my paintings n say. yes, that was sji.
that’s something anyone can never regret, n there r some things money just can't buy.
u say u i’m not that altrustic. fine, i want to feed my ego. but for that matter, i’ll haf many other opportunities to do just that. this is not altruism. i’m giving something back to something which i think deserves something in return from me some time soon.
met up wif kris, kelvin, pris just now after my art paper to see my exhibition. its always great catching up. the first time i laughed so hard in weeks lolz – well of course not. exam papers don’t realli haf a sense of humour. other than the other realli optimistic stuff happening these days, the prelims r screwed. n yes even art has been consigned to the dogs. today’s drawing n painting paper. lee guy buy those lousy quality paper, end up i use masking tape that i always use to do the straight lines that time then the paper tear. the toot. oh wells haha, all i haf to do is wait n see how my teachers screw me at wherever hole they can find.... ok try not to think abt it.
alvin ong dozed and watched the sawdust trampled night @ 12:43 AM
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