!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> Past. Present. Future: February 2009

Past. Present. Future

Thursday, February 19, 2009

the empty parade square

listening to:
Kelly Clarkson - my life would suck without you.

Things that happened recently gave me a jolt. I have become more conscious of my actions, and my words. Its a little late to learn this yeah I know. Its a part of growing up, and I guess I learn (or have learnt) stuff pretty late in my life. Enough said about that.

A strange kind of stillness has descended the battalion square. I’m just not used to the empty tables and chairs, the silent corridors, and the empty bunks(most of them locked up by now). Its one thing to say bye bye to ur army friends at the ord parade. But when you step into a totally foreign bunk, and see the unfamiliar faces, its when reality bites. You are now alone.

I stayed overnight in camp last night, and I took a emo walk round the battalion. I tell you, the silence is deafening.

Then you realize nothing has changed. The place, is a place that has always been unloved. The sea breeze is always the same. But life feels different because the familiar faces are gone. When Wenkai and company filled my bunk with their irritating chattering (as usual) they day they orded, I stopped myself from telling them off. cos i know that, soon, the people that have filled the silences will leave a void behind. n I will start missing them again.

And i’m yet to find a job. Not that i’m trying very hard though. That day I was browsing classifieds for designer vacancies and none fit. Not that i’m choosey or what. They’re asking for people with:
1, either poly degree,
2, with knowledge of illustrator/photoshop/autocad,
or 3, a year of working experience.

none of which fits the bill. in other words, they are seeking long-term employment, and not players like me.

still going gym often. been sleeping alot lately cos there're nothing else to do.

n i’m starting to miss sean.

alvin ong dozed and watched the sawdust trampled night @ 11:04 PM 

Sunday, February 08, 2009

2 years

ord parade today.

i have one more month to go. but the feeling of liberation is in the air, n i can’t help savoring it with the guys i’ve known for so long.

Photobucket

looking at us smiling at the cameras, its heartwarming. i never thought that this day will ever come, but it did. i’m looking back at 2 years.

Robbie Williams – “Better Man”
bmt. the camp, the regimentation, the foreign faces made you feel so alone in this new world. i won’t forget how sian we all felt on our first day at tekong. there was little time, n i did not touch my sketchbook for months. it was all about changing ur mindset and adapting.

Green Day – “Wake me up when September ends”
the guards conversion course was a test of mental and physical endurance. every day, i looked forward to sleeping and never ever waking. kenneth mak said it made him think of that green day song. i realized that people may go thru shit together, but it does not mean that they become genuinely united or bonded.

陶喆 - 寂寞的季节
nuff said about ispc. it was a time when i made many mistakes. david tao’s song reminded me of the lorong asrama n lim chu kang outfields. a time when scout drivers shared the team load n mission tasks, and walked the painful distances with the rest of the team. n of course, jungle survival and pow training is something a scout will never ever forget. ever.

The Cranberries – Zombie
Somehow zombie became our crescendo soundtrack. sai yok camp was memorable for the wondrous food and the beautiful outfields.

Queen - It's a Hard Life
One of the most stressful periods in our ns life. The stress from trainings resulted in quite a few flare-ups in the platoon. Also a time when i truly appreciated team effot.

Hady Mirza - NDP'08 Theme song
Ya its alittle cliched. No matter how good or sucky u think the music is, hearing it every week makes it a part of ur system. Its a time when you feel the most civilian.

Grease – You’re the one that I Want
This cheered me up on my lonely first week in queensland. Also watched grease for the first time at a canteen there. a time of built-up momentum for our final assessment. 2 years of training all boiled down to this.

Band of Brothers soundtrack - Suite 2
Everything said and done, there's a feeling of nostalgia each time i listen to the stirring strains of the b-o-b soundtrack. was first played to us at the end of our guards conversion, and it triggers me to look back.

after tomorrow, 13th mono scout platoon will cease to exist. so we meet for the very last time before our paths diverge once again. its unlikely dat everybody will b together again in reservist. so i’ll cherish our last day. wanted to take pictures with everyone, but didn't manage to do so.

sigh. to think that one year n a half ago we were strangers marching n running around victory square singing stupid songs n doing stupid things. n there we were, standing in that same square saying goodbye. i can hear the echoes on the walls, the tiles i tread upon, n the wind that has traveled and seen places, to come back to where it all began...

“and the parachutes bloom, like flowers in the sky....”

alvin ong dozed and watched the sawdust trampled night @ 9:53 PM