Past. Present. Future: January 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

platoon t

last thurs, i put the finishing touches to my t shirt design n went to jurong point to place my order.

the hard part lies in getting the perfect idea. thanx to kelvin tay for his ‘vectorized faces’ sketch, see below.

well u can see where i got the inspiration from. i loosened the structure abit. i’m glad that because everybody’s smile is inside, its something everybody feels they have a share in. something to remember the 13th mono scouts.

on a side note, one of my preliminary ideas was to get my platoon mate’s names printed in their handwriting on the t-shirt. as a backup, i even got their signatures. turns out these ideas didn’t realli work out very well on a shirt.

another challenge lies in handling money admin issues. money is always a big headache. people always stop short when you bring money into the picture, if you noe wad i mean. i’m sure u experienced this b4, or ur probably the kind of people i’m talking about haha.

a platoon-t is something everybody wants to have but nobody wants to do it. they tend to open their mouths alot. remember that not all imput will b positive, or will work on a shirt. the thing here is to b open-minded and discerning.

n when u talk to people as a group, its often very hard to get a majority feedback. often a few heroes will voice out n it kinds of puts off the rest from giving further imput. n of course there r those who can’t b bothered at all. the last group is best ignored as they’ll just get u down.

but at the end of the day, when something actually materializes, many want to take the credit.

dats how the platoon responded. no matter how united people make us out to b, there r bound to b differences in a group. n dats how any group works.

to my platoon, thanx for all the positive AND negative feedback. n for all the words of appreciation. to daryl, thanx for the help with the crest, thought it would end up looking boring but wad a surprise! n kelvin for dat wonderful 'smiles' idea. it came just when i was about to throw in the towel, having squeezed my brain dry.

i’ve no regrets taking the initiative to do the shirt, but next time, get somebody else to settle the money. its a learning curve, quite an experience actually, n i’m really excited to see how the actual shirt will look next week. how dreams became reality.

happy cny everyone!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

first in last out

listening to – wake me up when september ends

i finished my last ns commitment on thurs. heaved a sigh of relief. these 2 years have been quite a ride. n now all that awaits is my ord.

its been a tough and rough ride all the way till the end. i’ve learnt alot. made many mistakes along the way, n i still do. but i’m always glad to have a bunch of guys to help me when things need to be done. we’ve disagreed with one another on many counts and we’ve told one another off. on many occasions someone else has a better plan, n i wonder if i did the right thing to swallow my pride n follow instead.

how i wish i could draw people to me...

but there are moments in wallaby, seahawk and tekong that stirs the fuzzy feeling. dat through the chaos and the mess, i’ve kept my cool and did what was expected of me.

when i was assigned my role on the first day of the scout course, it was a feeling of silent resignation. i knew i got it cos none of my first year commanders had picked me into their team. i totally hated my job when my ps told me it was a supervisory role.

things were done team level in the course. i felt left out cos i had no team. but i still went thru all the shit with the rest. n when i first donned my jungle hat, i felt i earned it. but i’ve never done a single recce in my entire life. so i wonder, can i sometimes really call myself a scout?

my lowest point was yet to come. due to my attitude, n the fact dat i was very blur, my ps kinda shunned me for another guy to get things done in Crescendo. though i hid these feelings from my platoon mates then, in reality, i felt extremely hurt and ashamed of myself.

then the outfields in the beginning of 2008 became a turning point. i started growing into my job finally. i started to care more about what needed to be done. i started to b more alert n aware. when my first year commanders ord-ed, it was only then i began to mould my job scope. i started doing things out of my own initiative, n made it a habit. in army speak, it became ‘our s-o-p’.

when stage one came along, it was a 100% from me in underslung trainings. n people started trusting in me. from there, it was a hectic n crazily dilating progress to wallaby.

yup. my journey as a scout. that's wad my job WAS, its what i did for 1 and a half years. something i won't experience ever again in reservist... its nothing exciting actually. i might have bored u with my lack of specifics. but they were dug out from somewhere very hidden and deep. its a story of how an artist adapted, learnt and grew in the army. something i’ll think about at my ord parade.

yep dats me on my jeep.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

a Year.

Ok its time to put 2008 in retrospect.

2008 began on a plane bound from cape town for me. Its interesting to see how people from different time zones usher in the new year. First you see singaporeans talking loudly when its our 12am. Life goes on for the rest of the plane as far as they are concerned. Then an hour later, you see the japs walking around n greeting one another. If there were more diverse people from the continents on board, who knows how many new years we’ll be celebrating on one flight.

Is this a ‘how time flies?’ moment. maybe. 2008 saw me maturing finally as a soldier. It began with alot of uncertain times. where black can be white, and then black again the next moment. tempers flared during stage one preparations. everybody was feeling the heat and the pressure. but all the effort eventually paid off. Then msk came along, and i personally experienced the real jungle. I saw for myself that there are really places that are not humanly passable by virtue of vegetation. I then trod a path of outfields, which can bring a mixture of stress, responsibility, accomplishment, disappointment and frustration.

ndp then came along, and it was a sort of lull. It was memorable for the company. the group of us drivers started doing civilian things together between rehearsals. The italian dessert we ate on our nation’s birthday was an experience in itself.

after that was a mad rush to the army a levels. we could start our countdowns. our last tekong outfield. our last lim chu kang outfield. bye bye to cemeteries and durians. and soon, our Last outfield, in wallaby. My last outfield was memorable for a few reasons. The exercise cut around 5pm. and we drove back to a truly unforgettable queensland sunset and rainbow.

The sky was a riot of colour from horizon to horizon. our spirits were high as the wind blew in our faces. my jeeps raced back to camp.

after a levels, it was switch off, and attitudes slid down a slippery slope. and while shifting back to civilian life, i decided to go for a retreat. it made me realize that i lived almost an entire year without a God. God was an option on sundays and outside that he was out of my life.

the retreat rekindled a fire in me. once again, in ways i did not expect. i filled my spiritual cup. i felt inspired once again.

and south africa opened my eyes to the wonder of God in creation. n now i feel so foolish cos it took me a trip to africa to made me realize this. we search the ends of the world for something, only to realize that its always been right there. here. now.

first thing i did when i got back was to cycle to boon lay for the duck kuay teow, and then mass. i knelt in a pew and offered all these to God, like a love letter, a lifesong. that was when i truly felt 2009 began.

my resolutions? 2 things. one, to do a huge mural when i ord, all the way til i enter nus in aug. and two, run n gym on a regular basis. going fine so far, this past month. oh, n i’ve also my platoon t-shirt to settle before i ord.

to 2009!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

South Africa08

Just came back from south africa this morning. We left on 24 dec. Spent christmas in sun city doing gift exhange with our group members, and new year on a plane. Still feeling the jet lag.

South Africa stands out as one of the most interesting places i’ve ever been. It is not for any typical tourist. There is nothing much to do in Johannesburg and Cape Town seriously. Its not a shopping paradise. It cannot compare with the rich history of Europe. And if you’ve been to enough places, and seen enough of the world, the natural landscapes can seem mediocre.

But somehow, this holiday filled my soul with something else. I’ve discovered that the most satisfying and fulfilling memories are the simple things. Not mentioned in the official itinerary; A beautiful sunrise over Cape Town. Wild deer prancing across a huge golf course during a morning jog. A meditation at the seaside breakwater at sundown. A moment when the lyrics of a song suddenly strikes you. A gale of wind, and the sand biting your face. Then you get a magical feeling. And you realize that it has always been there, waiting.

Waiting for somebody to open their eyes and truly see.

Its these moments when you are surrounded by the glory of a greater hand, and the awareness of a greater hand in all creation, that you remember. You believe.

Past. Present. Future