Past. Present. Future: November 2007

Sunday, November 25, 2007

the perfect day

“What makes a perfect day? Most probably it’s one that’s so simple, it lifts you despite your circumstances.”

Cheong Suk-Wai, The Straits Times

After u get used to life in the army, u begin to see it as a day job. n the weekends become buffer zones. a time to take a backseat, to reflect, think, eat, n simply enjoy what’s beautiful about life. Suk-wai’s article today got me thinking about my perfect day. about what truly satisfied me. Are we living lives of mindful repetition, of simply going thru motion? which made me realize dat it doesn’t take much to make a person happy.

for me my perfect day would begin with me waking up at 6am to cycle over to my parish church next door for morning mass. after dat, i will join my dad for breakfast at jurong west market. we will talk cock over kaya bun n tao huay zhui. i will then spend the rest of my day at the coast wif 1 or 2 friends. cycling, walking or simply just chilling under the trees n enjoying the cool sea breeze n scenery. n wad a better way to end it with a plate of pizza n spaghetti at sungei inn..

looking back, i have been blessed with many memorable days. most of them were mundane in their own right, but they were spent without a feeling of regret. one truly perfect day was spent at east coast beach. it was so truly satisfying dat u told u told urself u won’t care the world if u died tomorrow. dat one day was enough. dat, to me, was happiness in its most purest form.

n then there were the innumerable magical moments i experienced while holidaying overseas. tranquil were the beautiful blue waters along the deserted sicilian coast. breathtaking was the view in the olive groves over andalusia. with the moon on top, the silent cypress n olive trees rustling in the cool wind around you. the sky was a beautiful sunset. n looking down over the cliff below, thousands of lights from the ancient town at ur feet.

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n then there were the swiss alps i saw in 2006. silent sentinels of the land, timeless and magnificent. n i will never ever forget the mystical votive candles of barcelona cathedral. never had i felt such an intense atmosphere of prayer in any place of worship. the colourful sunrise over lucerne n valencia were also perfect in their own ways.

happiness was that feeling of contentment at that moment. right there, like now. wierd feelings to feel before booking in tonight. but all these thoughts r realli so uplifting, they truly make me feel happy n blessed. let us continue to learn n grow each day. let us never lose our appetite to continue living.

amen.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

on mon, we’ll b off on battalion exercise. ex crescendo, thailand.

full of mixed feelings, to b honest.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

ura n recurrent musings

went to ura’s exhibition on our urban architecture today. there’s alot to see surprisingly. its an architect’s paradise. impressive r the huge models of the cbd. n there’s another one of the whole mainland. it also features prominant projects done by our local architects dating from the late 70s. these projects vary greatly in their nature, from small residential housing, schools, gardens to high-budget condos n office towers. u can also see a change in building styles from the past to present; compare the futuristically brutalist jurong town hall wif the very recently completed one raffles quay. the latter is clad in glass instead of concrete, n from a personal perspective, not very original. uninspiring.

the exhibition also showcases in detail plans for the future development of the marina bay area. which sounds realli exciting. in 20 yrs time, s’pore’s skyline wd b totally different. videos of interviews wif pioneering s’pore architects were also veri insightful. as they shared their dreams, aspirations, i cdn’t help but feel inspired. at the same time i also kept asking myself, “will i ever get there?” it feels veri uncertain n exciting, but also at the same time scary. fear of disappointment. a veri thought provoking n educational exhibition.

today i turn 19. celebrated it by a dinner wif my parents. they r huge emotional pillars in my life. sometimes i wonder wad i wd b without them, which makes me feel so dependent on them. they shielded me from the outside world, n when i stepped out of that pampered, sheltered cocoon they built over me, i felt so naked n helpless. i guess i haf a long way to go to grow up. to those dat remembered, thank u for the wishes n the presents. it was a pleasant surprise. thank u so much.

oh one more thing dat realli made my night was dis realli hot beauty i saw while having my dinner. she was wearing dis sexy blue dress. both father n son turned our heads then quickly turned away cos paiseh mah. then we stole a second glance cos it was just irresistible. she was a mixed blood, tanned skin, dark brown hair, sparkling lips n eyes, n her curves... an unforgettable sighting.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Thru it All

listening to- winter sonata

it feels so long since i listened to any good piece of music. back after 2 weeks of confinement. we killed our first frog, endured 3 days of living off the land, a full scale exercise, pow treatment, n missions again.. a total of 8 days outfield. its been bittersweet finally passing out as a scout, n looking back, the past few days have been very meaningful. i leave with some memories i will always remember for the rest of my life.

killing a frog in my mind n actually doing it were 2 totally different things. it felt extremely cruel. i was totally grossed out! but still suck thumb n i forced my hand into dat bag of jumping frogs. to kill it, hold it by the groin n whack its forehead against the table. once u see the tongue stick out, its a dead man. after skinning it (it has very rubbery skin, by the way) remove the internal organs. while doing dat u can see the shit of the frog coming out from the anus, n occasionally the legs will start to spasm on their own. while doing dat i couldn’t bring myself to look at the head. breaking the spine n pulling the head off was abit of a struggle.... after dat we were told were supposed to wash the carcass n cook it over our own fires. it was to be our lunch. the soup n meat can be quite sweet actually, if u put out the thot of the once live frog out of ur mind. i added some carrots, so chicken pieces, n maggi curry seasoning to mask any frog smell in the food.

n i lost like 3kg during my combat survival training. its back to the stone age! u’ll haf to make ur own shelter from logs u chopped urself wif ur parang. wif banana leaves as ur roof. my team’s shelter was quite sturdy n kept us dry during the first night. u’ll also haf to start ur own fire wif twigs n dried leaves u’re supposed to collect. which r rare finds since it rained the day b4. its much more difficult than starting a bbq fire. among other amenities we haf to set up. the first night was the worst. we had mosquito n sand fly bites over all of us, we had no fire, we were hungry n tired. we were expected to survive for 3 days without food. compare it wif our last night, which was a real feast over a nice hot fire. never had i appreciated so much the value of independence.

pow training was one of the worst 12 hours in my army life to date. we were so shagged out n hungry after a further 3 days of back-to-back missions dat it was hard to stay awake. blindfolded, we were told to go into the various stress positions like high kneeling, n kneeling, half squatting, wif ur binded hands over ur head. one by one they called ur number n guards led u into the interrogation room. after awhile u lost track of time n u start wondering when will it all end. so many times, i wanted to give up. looking back, i wondered how i managed to endure. after it was all over, i told myself. if i was caught by enemies in a real war i’d rather shoot myself first.

after dat was another day, another mission before we finished the course.

these 8 days outfield have been one of those defining moments in my training. its onli in those veri jia lat moments dat u discover wad kind of person u realli r. n to b frank, i discovered for myself dat mentally, i’m not there at all. but then again, its all said n done. i’ve earned my jungle hat n here i am in the comfort of my home feeling clean, well-fed wif a roof over my head, truly relaxing without the fear dat in the next moment a new mission order will come in. maybe for now, i’ll go cycle over to the market for some nasi lemak. haf a good day guys, n a relaxing deepavali weekend.

Past. Present. Future