This day came n went.
hello darkness my old friend.
i’ve come to talk to u again.
todae was quite uneventful, basically 3 free periods, econs lecture/tutorial, n history n macs tutorial. but general impression i get of todae was very relax dae in the library doing no productive stuff, n ending up talking cock.
todae also got back chinese ao results. my grade is a C, which seriously speaking is quite commendable for my standard, given the fact that my oral was a disgraceful monument to 10 years of learning chinese n i also recall typing in my entry long ago describing the written paper as a complete disaster. so i think C is quite rational for my expectations. my expectations for chinese r not high. i’m just aiming to pass it to get into s’pore u. thats all.
thats all. so ends my contract wif chinese. no more lim may lang forcing us to be compelled to undergo her nagging. my term wif the language is over.
i noe that i’m all english n all, but deep down, i’m very chinese n feel strongly for my roots, but the language is something that doesn’t make me feel that sense of affinity. i never identified wif it n it never idnetified itself wif me. we were, n remain two very separate entities. i noe i wd later regret adopting such an attitude when i go becom architect n get posted to china to do some project. these daes, such a scenario is an inevitability. i cannot run from it. as an architect that doesn’t engage wif china, ur commiting suicide. only when that time comes where i have to go there to convince the china helicopters there the viability of my idea will my stuttering pronunciation n awkwardness in trying to explain my vision make me regret not putting effort in my chinese as a student.
theres a consequence to every action. wad goes round comes round. its just a question of time when ur past actions will come back to haunt u. thats my price to pay. but i’ll leave that to later. concentrate on the A levels first. take life one step at a time.
generally our class did not to bad for chinese la i wd sae. qing lun got B, jon got A...n gloria got C. just to name a few. i think all of us got what we worked for, but more imptantly everybody’s happy to b able to drop it n concentrate on their other subjects.
todae’s ash wednesdae came n went without much flair n significance. this evening didn’t even go for mass. will make up for it by going for novena this sat, n praying more. father brys said that faith n prayer goes hand in hand so well ya. n i succumbed to my temptations for food altho todae was supposed to b a day of fast n abstinence. i have no discipline. this lent i hope to change that.
alvin ong dozed and watched the sawdust trampled night @ 11:58 AM
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