...
just came back from sher’s farewell bbq... dis week was a total shag out. esp the 24h guard duty which made me sleep half my bookout weekend away. godbro got his best soldier of the month award nomination. n i’m seriously happy for him. never in my life did i imagine dat he wd one day get it. but well my best friend always turns around n surprises me in the back. he shd sign on haha. ...
army has changed many people. even though i’ve known my bunkmates for only 6 mths now, i’ve seen them change. all for the better. they’ve become more confident, independent n capable individuals. i’m happy for them... but sometimes i feel i’m lagging behind. its dat drive for me to excel in wadever i do working in me again. but for the first time in my life, in the army, i have often felt i’ve let myself down. often i just don’t put in the effort when dat time comes, n when i see pple getting better n better, i feel left behind. n i start wondering if my hitherto pampered life is causing me to give up so easily....
to just not be bothered n send in half fuck standards is not me... but i feel dis habit slowly becoming wad is me. i must change for the better. i must change for the better.
press on n keep trying. its better to try n fail rather than simply not try at all.
alvin ong dozed and watched the sawdust trampled night @ 12:55 AM
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