On English
GP results r back. sometimes i really think dat some r born n bred for gp n some r not. under exam conditions, grammar, spelling n punctuation mistakes miraculously sprouted out of nowhere, page after page. it revealed in me the true complexities of this language orginating from the land of Mr Bean. n this eudora character can strongly testify to the distress n trauma she was subject to when we were asked today to switch scripts n correct each others lousy engrish.
but face it la, i seriously think that English spelling is many a time unnecessary difficult; take for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. what i think is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. especially since English has been chosen as the preferred language in the EU. i propose dat this programme shd, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations. like UN lidat!
in the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
there would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. this would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
in the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
we would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. by this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'.
perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou'. similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. after tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ze drems of zes glorios ledrs vud finali hav kum tru.
alvin ong dozed and watched the sawdust trampled night @ 11:59 PM
<< Home