boxes of stuff
dis post is like a collection of stuff i've been wanting to say for quite some time, but never found the time, words, courage, or occasion to say them.
its been said dat a blogger onli chooses to reveal as much he wd like to reveal on the blog. sometimes i haf written entire paragraphs flowing straight from my train of thought, onli to decide to delete them afterward for various reasons. n there’s the issue of words. words. Words. no matter how powerful ur command of the language, sometimes u can never find the right words to express wad ur experiencing or feeling there n then. the most words do is rationize a sensation n then try to inspire a similar feeling, or they can describe the experience, but they ultimately stop short of recording something in its entirety.
tomorrow’s my last day at work. though i did not get exposed to the variety of experiences in the firm as planned, it still adds up to a learning experience. n i wdn’t say dat its a waste of my time. even when i’m stuck in office wif no proper seat wif nothing to do, my colleagues eud, dorothy, geok chu helped enrich a stale activity n made time fly alittle faster. n i sincerely thank angelene for providing me dis window to experience a different life. zhiwei for his dedication, patience n inspiration. i’ve realli learnt alot under him, n he’s probably the onli team leader who actually entertained my nonsense. actually bothered to pose challenges to me everyday, n saw me thru the whole process. under him, i caught my first glimpse of the tenets of architecture, something i’m realli grateful for. he’s someone i’ll rmb yrs after i leave dp.
these weeks, i’ve realli missed godbro. i don’t realli noe how to elaborate on dis. its one of the things dat i’ve said, words can’t realli express. its a combination of so many thots, feelings n memories all cham cham together in an instant. its amazing dat we r experiencing totally different lifestyles during the week but yet we can still find something to talk abt when we meet up on weekends. sometimes the weekends seem too short. or too long when u're looking forward for the next weekend to come again. the awareness of his absence is a recurrent thot these days. sometimes i miss the silly things we used to do. i guess it just means dat we’ve grown. its part n parcel of growing up together. sometimes i think of how content we r just wasting time together doing nothing. sometimes, i just wonder, wad is he doing now, at dis moment. its 1040 now. he probably lights out already somewhere in tekong. must b real quiet there now, save for the buzz of mosquitos n the song of the crickets. here, its realli quiet too. real quiet.
its not something painful, nor is it me in emo mode. i see it as one of the many experiences we r privileged to go thru sooner or later. n i guess dats wad makes life so meaningful. u’re like presented a salad full of weird flavours n interesting tastes, n every mouthful tastes n feels different. the sour juices make the sweet sauces taste sweeter but they both enrich the other. some tastes r so foreign dat u don't noe where the hell it came from. some tastes r an initial turn-off, but they grow on u after awhile. n when u finally clear ur plate, u go, ‘wow, dat was quite something.’
alvin ong dozed and watched the sawdust trampled night @ 10:45 PM
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